Recently, I have taken up the unfortunate habit of vomiting every morning (or as Todd says, shouting at the toilet.) I can’t seem to get through a day without napping, and my mood has begun to swing out of control. It turns out that Todd and I are expecting our first child! Continue reading
Christmas is fast approaching and as per usual I am left with a whole laundry list of things to do before it gets here. I only just got around to decorating the tree, I still have a few gifts to buy, wrap, and deliver. I also have some baking to do, and some appetizers to make too! Needless to say, with a week left until the big day, I’m starting to feel a little pressure.
Hi. My name is Tina, and I’m an arachnophobic. My affliction has affected my life in the following ways: I am unable to come within 3 feet of a spider without becoming temporarily frozen with fear. If a spider is somehow upon my person, I will scream and flail about involuntarily until the threat is dispatched. I have sullied the covers of many a heavy encyclopedia, dictionary, and best selling novel with spider carcasses by strategically positioning the book above the arachnid and dropping it. This is really the only way that I can assassinate them myself without having a total melt down. Most recently, my phobia had prevented me from donning my winter boots.
Halloween has come and gone, and what it has left behind is much scarier than anything this festival of fright could ever conjure up.
Every year, Tina charges out to the local supermarché in search of that perfect pumpkin; the roundest, most orange, medium-sized gourd out there. What a ball it is for her to scrape out its guts, leaving bits and pieces on the counter and floor for me to slime myself with.
Winter is around the bend, which means that there will be a cavalcade of critters trying to infiltrate your home. They’ll eat your food, they’ll make a mess and NEVER clean up after themselves, and they NEVER even offer to pitch in for their portion of the rent! Despite our best efforts, Todd and I are currently waging a war on these scurrying squatters.
I’ve covered bad driving before. We all know Tina struggles in the area of chauffering, and really, that’s okay. But I feel it’s important to talk about Tina’s shotgunning skills.